Sexual Intimacy

 There are many differences in male and female sexual responses and because of that there are lots of challenges and opportunities that arise. Males tend to be aroused very quickly, have a short plateau, and then after an orgasm have to have some time to recover before they are able to have another orgasm. In females however, arousal may take a while, they may plateau for a long time, and they are able to have more than one orgasm without recovery time(which has been described as a pleasant sneeze). Because of these differences, there are lots of challenges that may occur, but also provide lots of opportunities to grow closer together.

Women may be distracted during sex, whereas men are typically very focused while they are having sex. There are many false expectations in the world today about sex because of movies and porn that is prevelant all over. Typically when there is a hook up, the woman is more attached than the man is afterwards. There is also often only a love for their body and not for them as a person. Talking about sex tends to be a secret, and not talked about. It needs to be sacred, but not secret. Communication is also essential and crucial. Also, having sex with multiple people makes it difficult when you marry someone. With these challenges, there are many opportunities that arise that can build the relationship.

There are many opportunities that arise with the challenges that are present. The challenges can bring the two of you closer. Sex can help create a better marriage. There is an opportunity that men have to be selfless. As men are aroused quicker than women, and because of that they have the opportunity to be selfless and think of how their wife (or partner) is feeling. It has been said that you should build it in the kitchen, meaning create the intimacy and have sex as a result of the intimacy that is present. Be delicate and careful as both individuals may have anxiety about sex. Plus there is no hurry to figure everything out as you will have your whole life to figure it out, even if in the LDS culture it is a big bad thing until you are married and then it is a very good thing. 

There are certain facts about sexual intimacy that are important to understand. First one that when women feel safe, warm and close it is easy for them to be sexual. There are big bursts of dopamine in both the male and female when the climax is achieved. Both male and female feel adrenaline and serotonin (feeling of contentment). Women also have big bursts of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone, which then causes women to be more emotionally and physically attached to the man. If sexual intercourse is rushed then males can be done before females are even aroused. When you marry someone, make sure to be on the same page with them about sex, parenting, etc before you marry them. Make sure to be comfortable talking about sex with your kids (when the come and are old enough) because otherwise they will go elsewhere to learn about sexual intimacy, which can be very detrimental. People tend to have anxiety about having sex, so they will consume alcohol before to decrease the anxiety they have by depressing their brain. And just a reminder that good marriages are not natural, and so there has to be a lot of effort put into the marriage for it to be a good marriage and it is then therefore supernatural.