Family Roles

 God has opinions on families and on how families should be run. God has divinely designed families in a way that will give the whole family unit everything that they need. He has told us that fathers are to preside and provide the necessities of life. Presiding over the family doesn’t mean that he is the boss, but that he looks after, guides, and is responsible for the outcome of his family. The necessities of life include food, shelter, knowledge, and security (physical and emotional) to name a few. Mothers are responsible to nurture and raise children. 

There are other roles that are present within families that God has not dictated. There are typically at least one peacemaker and a clown or tension reliever as well as a parental figure. Roles tend to change when family members leave the home. For example, in my family there are eight of us kids. Seven of us are girls, and we have one brother. It was strange when my older siblings would leave to go to college or serve a full time mission for our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) When they left there was a void that needed to be filled. As I am the sixth child, it was rough adjusting to being the oldest when my brother left for college. I had typically been a peacemaker and somewhat of a tension reliever, but I became the person that my youngest sister would come to with her random questions that she didn’t want to ask mom about. Like for instance, she came to me after listening to the lyrics of “Grenade” by Bruno Mars, and she was confused and disturbed to hear that when two people kiss they close their eyes. It was hilarious for me, and she learned something new. Because my family is so large, there are multiple people that fill different roles. Even though I have left the home, my siblings will still come and ask me for advice, even my older siblings. 

Roles also change when new people enter the family. Each person brings to the table something new that we need. Each person is special and has unique talents and gifts that they are able to share with us. So far in my personal family I only have one sister married, and my brother is getting married in March. Both of their spouses (or soon to be) bring more love, talents, and experiences into our lives. My sister who is married also has three little boys. Each of them brings so much joy into our lives. Their goofy laughs bring smiles to tired faces. Their sweet caring and love for eachother and to us is just so special. They love helping and making people laugh. Their kind spirits lift me when I am feeling down. They just make my heart smile.

I have been incredibly blessed with the family that I have. We all love and support each other, which is not very typical anymore. Or at least so it seems. I love all of my family members so much, and it pains me to hear others speak badly about their siblings or that they hate them. I could not imagine my life without every individual in my family. They each play such a vital role in my life. I cannot count the number of phone calls I have had with my family when I am having a hard time, or when I am excited or stressed. We seriously are just there for each other every day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t talk to my family.

This is possible for your family, but it may be very difficult. It takes every person putting forth a significant effort. Don’t lose hope if there are family struggles. There is counseling, therapy, and resources available to help.